the "new reality"

I have a lot on my mind lately, some positive things and other things that don't seem to fit into any category.

First off, just before Jason and I went to Kitchener, I sold a kitchen. Yes, the plastic surgeon resident coughed up some cash for a new kitchen. I have put in a lot of hours with this man, for many reasons: it's my job; it feels good to do something you both enjoy and know that you are good at; when completed, his condo will look fantastic in my portfolio; it got me out and about; and he gave me the name of the brand new MS Clinic doctor, before she even started working.

However, we were unable to nail down the final selections for his bathroom renovations, which will be completed at the same time as his kitchen. But I asked him to put the deposit down on his kitchen, and told him that I was going away and would continue working on his bathrooms when I returned.

Now here is the good part - I did not think about his bathrooms, I did not check my e-mail for messages from him, and I did not check for voice mails from him while I was in Kitchener. That is a huge step for me on my journey to a less-stress life.

I recently heard that the reason why many people with MS leave the workforce is because of fatigue. I know that I can be a stressed person - even enjoyable stress can be bad - stress is a fatigue trigger. I used to work whenever I felt like it or when I felt like I should because of the amount of work there was to complete - and I wouldn't necessarily count those hours for my pay cheque. I just did it.

When I return to work at the job where the precedent was set by the "other me" - I will be resetting the precedent to fit "my new reality". I have always taken my jobs personally: I deeply believe in the product, the service, and the people - I feel ownership - the pride, the fear, the craving for success as a whole - I am passionate. My career is a lifestyle.

Now I have promised myself and Jason a new lifestyle - a happy, healthy, me who will do whatever it takes to make my "medical reality" just a word. I choose to live with MS...not push my limits so that MS is my life.

I'm starting to realize that maybe life is better in this "new reality".

Taking it slow,

Emily