I have successfully completed two days of being "one lorazapam down". I have napped for almost a total of four hours over these days.
I need to stop thinking about it. I am very focused on what MIGHT happen without it. I don't want to return to that condition - the feeling of a constant head bob and shake, feeling scared to turn my head without turning my whole body, sensory overload.
I am also scared of losing the sense of independence that the lorazapam has given me. Sure, I can't do even half of what I would like to do, but at least I can do some things. It was only two weeks ago that Jason and I were talking about how I should start to go out a little bit everyday on my own. What about that?