I feel quite strange without my Rebif. Two injection days have passed, without injections. So on Wednesday and Friday, I felt a bit anxious about my decision. Nervous.
I'm driving through life without a seat belt.
The needle package wasn't on the counter, acclimating to room temperature prior to injection...a couple of times, I almost went to the fridge to get it out.
My timing is quite good, because I was due for blood work on Thursday. So that means that I will have a starting point, marking my blood chemistry at the beginning of my holiday. Which brings me to letting you in on WHY I have decided to take a holiday.
I will be having another surgery early in the new year to clean up the remainder of the endometriosis (discovered in June), and have a better look at my post Appy-Gate tubes and ovaries (damaged in August from that darned appendix). According to my gynecologist, after surgery will be the best time to try and conceive. So, in preparation for this, I need to have been off of Rebif for three months.
***If you are new to this blog, I'll fill you in. I had my first attack of MS, and my first visit to a fertility doctor both in the summer of 2006. The MS attack was new and life-changing (ok, and permanently debilitating), but trying to get pregnant went on for over three years before I decided that it was out of my hands. Then this summer, my appendix burst, and my abdomen became infected. This was fine for my MS symptoms (knock on wood!) but not so good for my chances of conceiving.***
Let's get back to the present...
I don't think that I will ever know if this is the right decision. But I think about what I was told by an MS neurologist in November 2006, and that is if I don't try and get pregnant, I will forever hate this disease. Wanting to be pregnant came long before MS. I want a fair shot (PCOS under control and no endometrias) at this opportunity. But I also recognize that my "fair shot" was ruined by the medical negligence I suffered from this summer. *sigh*
I'm practical. Really. Jason and I have set a time limit as for how long I will remain off of the Rebif. We have also discussed fertility drugs, which have obviously been recommended, but we're feeling lucky on our own...it's our time. please.
lol...doesn't that sound practical???