bad music

I don't do well with "doing nothing". No matter what my body and my brain tell me, this little inner voice is always pushing me to do something!

Yesterday, the same inner voice pushed me to get out of bed. Even though my body and my brain said, "stay in bed, we need it", the "other" voice said, "Alarm went, going to Costco this morning...time to get up".

Who am I kidding, it isn't simply the "other" voice, it's the "evil" voice! It doesn't yell, it doesn't whisper. It doesn't call me names and it doesn't compliment me either. But it tugs at my responsibility strings. And the responsibility strings are connected to the guilt strings. These aren't strings that make beautiful music!

My point is, I should have listened to my brain...and not the voice. The wobbles came on fierce in Costco. I could no longer turn my head to look around, or watch for carts coming my direction. I use my own cart to protect my "personal space". It seems when people get too close, things get worse for me. If I think about it now, I may even start to panic. I'll have to think about this aspect some more. I definitely get quiet and tense.

So today, I am wiped. And I was wiped for the remainder of yesterday. Come to think of it, I was wiped on Thursday afternoon too! And the evil little voice just keeps playing bad music!



Ladyfingers said...
July 6, 2008 at 8:28 a.m.

Now Emily you know that in our family it is the wind instruments that make the beautiful music. Listen to your true inner voice and you won't go wrong.

Mom XO

Little bits about my life with MS

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