I need a break

I have had a busy week. Well, busy by my standards. Even with a little getaway thrown in, I find that I need to rest. Today is the last day that I have something "scheduled", until a haircut, late next week.

Yesterday's appointment was with an Occupational Therapist, for a fatigue assessment. I'll post more about that at another time. On the way home, I realized that I just wanted to do nothing, and we were still expecting company later in the day.

So what is "busy by my standards"?

The week (and a bit) went something like this: pick Jason up from work; grocery shop; shop for 3Penny's B-Day gift; pack for getaway to the lake; play games at the lake; sleep in a strange place; pack to return home; read an entire novel in 3 days; go to Curves; my own B-Day dinner; clothes shop for Jason (see the following event for reason behind this one); attend a family funeral; one hour appointment with OT; visit with friends in town from Calgary; have coffee with neighbours; and tonight...for the last act, video C-Dazzle and Jay's kitty cats.

Throw on top of that, daily living: shower, eat, tidy house, and talk.

Did any one thing push me over the edge? No.

Could I have better planned things? Yes, but that may have involved saying, "No".

Do I need to get over the ever-present guilt of saying "No"? Yes.

Is a good night sleep the solution? No. I'm not tired. I'm fatigued.

My full conversation with Jason involved me saying, "Oh yeah, this is one of the reasons WHY I don't work". Every once in a while, I need a reminder. I also told Jason that I am lucky he understands my fatigue. This doesn't mean that he tucks me into bed while saying, "Don't worry, I'll look after everything". This isn't roses and ice-cream for either of us, and he is tired from work. But he knows that his tired is different from my fatigue.

It does mean that he never acts hard done by, and he doesn't say things that cause me to feel guilty. Sometimes I do need him to get me ready for, and into bed. Sometimes he has to finish the things that I started. And sometimes I need to cry, and that's okay with him.

Emily

4 comments:

Anonymous said...
August 24, 2009 at 5:21 PM

This sounds crummy. I wish we weren't so far away from each other. I miss you and I love you.

Annie

Diane J Standiford said...
August 28, 2009 at 9:24 AM

You are lucky to have Jason. Hey, I LOVE your jewelry. Will send your blog addr to friend who makes the stuff too, she is also disabled and it is most she can do to be creative. I am so happy she found beading. (I am NOT creative in that way.)

Joey said...
August 28, 2009 at 10:32 PM

I enjoyed reading your blogs! Your page is so pretty. I want a pretty blog. How did u do this?
You are lucky to have the support of your wonderful husband. Remember even on days you cry that remember to find something in your days to laugh about. Laughter is my best medicine.
You'll get through this. You may have crappy days and really good days. Be blessed for both because you'll learn from both.
Gorgeous jewerly. How fun - you are so talented!! Hobbies always distract our minds - but like my sister has said - its constantly on her mind. (MS).
Keep in touch and stay strong and hopefully my sis will contact you too.
Joey

Ladyfingers said...
August 29, 2009 at 3:51 PM

Yes Em. I understand and it is just not fair. There had better be some pretty amazing place for all MS sufferers at the end of this life to make up for all of this suffering.

Love, MomXO

Little bits about my life with MS

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