blood collection

I forgot to mention that I went for my blood tests this morning!

When I received the requisitions yesterday, it was shortly after 3 pm, and too late to get to the hospital lab across the street from the doctors office. So the attentive nurse said to me, "Well you live in Transcona, so why don't you just go to a lab out there tomorrow...these is no sense in coming all the way out here, as long as they send the results to the right place, and that you do it as soon as possible."

I quickly scanned the requisitions, and noticed that it was all typed, and checked off - no hand written instructions to confuse the lab tech. This shouldn't be a problem, I thought.

So I got up earlier than usual today, and drove to the nearest lab (which is in my GP's office, and I know the tech...kind of).

Here's how it went:

Me (smile on face, reqs in hand): Hello! Are you able to do these tests here (holding out the papers)?

Tech (half smile of face): Probably. Let me have a look (taking the papers from me).

Tech (reading the first page): Complete blood count? (flipping to next page) Smooth muscle test? (flipping to next page) (flipping to next page) I don't know what some of these are. I have the basic tubes here (running her hands over the empty tubes, with multi-coloured tops, that were sitting on her desk)...if you want to get stuck twice, I can do the ones on this sheet (pointing at the last sheet), but you will have to go elsewhere for the other tests.

Me (nodding my head): oh, ok. (reaching for the papers)

Tech: I mean, I would love to (motioning to the clean looking office, as if to say she has nothing else to do), but I don't know what to do with blood. It needs special containers...

Anyway - you get the point.

So I walked back to my car, and phoned Jason. Jason recommended that I drive to the HSC (not Concordia Hospital) because they were still closer than the other hospital, and would know what to do.

On my way to the HSC, I phoned C. at work and asked her if she was busy. I was being pre-emptive - having a driver just in case things went awry in my brain. I knew that we would have to walk a bit to the lab, sometimes I walk by the lab, and we would have to walk through some crowds....all things that can throw my perception off. Luckily, C. was available, and she drove me to the HSC.

So here is the second conversation:

Me: Hello.

Tech: Hi. Please wash your hands (motioning to the anti-bacterial pump on the desk). I'll be right with you.

Me: (one pump....lots of goo...glopped on the floor) Whoa. I got a lot.

Tech: Let me wipe that up (coming around the desk with a tissue). Ok, what do we have here...(reaching for my paperwork). Oh, hold on a minute (turning around in her chair). Ladies...we need to have a discussion! (walking away from the desk, with my papers, followed by two other techs)

Me: (eyebrows raised, eyes wide, thinking to myself...you have got to be kidding me. It's a good thing that I'm not fasting!)

Tech: A complete blood count?
Other Tech: that's just a CBC.

Me: that's on another paper...

Other Tech: see, it says the will do a (blah blah blah) if they need to.

Ok - I'm going to cut this short. They worked it out. There was nothing on there that they couldn't do. And in their opinion, there was nothing on there that the other tech couldn't do either...she just didn't want to.

Tech taking my blood: So you had to drive all the way here just for this? Are you here for anything else?

Me: Nope. Just this.

First Tech: That's ridiculous. You be sure to tell your doctor about this. Where did you go again? All she needed to do was make a phone call.

What can't anything be simple for me?

Emily