Our workshop is starting to become repetitive. Instead of planning a day, we are planning a week for ourselves. The idea is to "bank" energy. Banking, to me, means leaving it tucked away for use in the future.
But, I have quickly learned in my short time with MS, this isn't always possible. It doesn't work that way: if fatigue is going to get you, it will. Don't get me wrong, the workshop has been beneficial in that I have met women like myself, and it has provided us with some strategies for doing tasks to use the least amount of energy. But if I could see "the wall" (fatigue) coming, I would get out of the way...trust me. If energy could be "banked" then fatigue would hardly be the issue that it is.
The workshop has also reminded us to not fill our time with "have to's": it is important to have some "would like to's" in our day/week. A lack of "would like to's" is depressing.
In our workshop yesterday, we talked a bit about things that we have given up, or stopped doing because of our fatigue. It felt good to hear someone with the same "give up" as me. Sad, but nice to know that I'm not alone.
Over the past three years, it has been common place for me to leave my house without going to great lengths to "perk-up" my appearance. I've never been one for much make-up, but now I wear none, if any at all. I prefer my hair straight, but now a fuzzy ponytail is about all I can muster.
And for the most part, I'm okay with it. By the time I am out of the shower, I have used my arms enough. And to spend time in front of a mirror before tackling the great outdoors, that is a waste of energy.
What's the point of having sparkly eyelids and pink lips if you are slouched, watery eyed, and dragging your feet?