I've been tired

I finally have a moment in which I feel like I can make a somewhat cohesive and worthwhile post. It may sound as if I have been busy, considering that I "finally have a moment", but the truth is quite the opposite. The correct key word in my opening sentence is "cohesive".

I have been zonked. I am starting to have a better time when it comes to falling asleep at night, and it is leading me to sleeping in until 11 AM the next morning! That makes for 10-11 plus hours of sleep. And what's worse is that I am a stubborn person when I am tired. I'm not ornery, just stubborn. I don't allow myself to just lay down. I feel as if I have to accomplish something everyday: load of laundry, unload the dishwasher, sweep the floor. But when I push myself to do things when I am tired, all the other ugly MS symptoms rise from within me. It's a battle that I have with myself, that I am destined to lose.

Lately, it's my memory, in particular word finding and retrieving thoughts, that is suffering the most. Luckily, I only talk to people who understand, and who can read my mind. I also woke up yesterday with a bobble head. Not wobbles, but bobblehead. They are different. A bobble head is just as it sounds (and just like the toy)- my head feels like it is moving updownrightupleftdownrightup etc. Luckily, some Bonamine helped that. Wobbles are more of a whole body sensation.

My other intermittent symptoms have been lazy pinky and ring fingers; an inability to look directly up at something while standing; and eating a meal is pure torture for all involved because it takes me sooooo long.

I have been wanting to mention to you that a couple of weeks ago, Ladyfingers and Dude attended a talk involving a local MS neurologist. For lack of a better word, I was honoured. They took time out of their schedules to learn more about my disease. I understand that they are my parents, and that I have provided them with plenty of information...wanting or not. I didn't ask them to attend, and I can't describe how much it means to me that they did...they even asked questions! They gave me (and I am sure that those in attendance feel the same) a different kind of support.

I'll post again soon!

Emily

2 comments:

Ladyfingers said...
October 26, 2008 at 12:36 AM

There was never a hesitation Em. As soon as we read in the local paper that the neurologist was coming to Kitchener to speak we called to reserve our seats. You are our daughter. I'm sure that if someone said that if we cut off our right arm or gave up our ability to walk so that you could be cured we would do it. I would take your MS myself if I could. We wanted answers to our questions just like everyone there. All searching for the same thing...an end to this terrible disease. I am happy that you felt honoured and supported. We felt that we had done very little, in fact nothing, to make the lives of any MS sufferer better. All we really learned is that there are a lot of people in Kitchener with MS who are in motorized wheelchairs. The gravity of the disease was brought home to us. However, we were also thankful that you are able to have some treatment by way of your injections. These people weren't all so lucky.

Mom XO

Diane J Standiford said...
October 27, 2008 at 2:29 AM

Gee, what a sweet mom. MY mom couldn't talk about my MS.

Little bits about my life with MS

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