looking for a routine

Earlier today, I had an idea for a post - and now it's gone.

Let me see if I can find it by typing some various thoughts...

I'm going to put myself on a schedule. Instead of getting up when I decide to get up, I am going to get up every morning at the same time...regardless of how I feel. I will get up, have my breakfast, have a shower, and by then, Jason will be home from his morning shift at work, and we will go for a walk. If I am not up to it following my shower, that's ok. If I need to go back to bed after my shower that's ok too. That is the schedule I'm going to start with...I have to start somewhere.

I finally settled on this decision because I am still grasping for what my "purpose" is. My newest diagnosis has created some bumps in my life...the "new reality" that I was just starting to get used to. Instead, it feels as if my life just got more complicated.

I mentioned before that I have been struggling with not being able to work, and not being a mother either...what am I if I am neither? I'm anxious to figure that out! I know...I know...it will just happen...but I do believe that we have some control.

If I have a routine, maybe I will feel more important. Not that I don't feel important...purposeful is more like it...a contributor...in control.

How is that for "various thoughts"?

Emily

2 comments:

corina said...
June 20, 2008 at 11:49 a.m.

my light fluffy comment is...maybe your routine will be coming to the lake with me on wknds ;p

but while i want to be upbeat and positive for you i have tears welling up in my eyeballs...at work, of course! maybe part of that is hormonal but mostly because...well...because it so sucks! and i hope that you find your purpose. your purpose as far as i'm concerned is to be a caring and loyal friend that i can talk to about anything...but this isn't all about me is it.

c.

Emms said...
June 20, 2008 at 1:23 p.m.

ty c.
but I'm not thanking you for the tears you put in my eyes!

Little bits about my life with MS

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