At the end of October, I canceled my membership to Curves. My personal relationship with Curves was not good for me. Too much pressure was placed on me...by none other than myself...to get fit by this particular means.
I started my Curves membership in the spring of 2006 - at the same time that I "went berry picking". I had two medical leaves placed on my membership during this time, and my attendance was sporadic at best. I just never felt "on" enough to go in for the 30 minute work-out.
I worried about being able to get myself home after 30 minutes. Sometimes, Jason would drop me off, and pick me up. To take the bus, would have meant a long walk, as the location is off the main routes. And on many occasions, I could not stick around for the full 30 minutes - my arms and legs felt like bricks.
I tried to adjust my workout. Instead of jogging or bouncing on the spot (in between the strength exercises) I tried to move slower. I would focus on moving my arms or my legs, or squatting while extending a leg. I had no shortage of movements. But I have a difficult time doing things at half speed or half movement...I feel self conscious. I push to my limit every time.
This goes back to needing to just slow life down. Things don't have to be rushed. I know that to maintain a non-wobbly world, I need to be methodical, cautious, and calm. I had trouble applying this to a work-out. And it became a fight with myself.
Guilt. Disappointment. Frustration. Fatigue. No more.
I am committing myself to staying healthy on my own terms...and I am considering taking an MS Aquafit class in the coming year.