Revelation just before I left for vacation...my life is going to change in July.
In July, my close friend C-Dazzle and her partner are leaving for a round-the-world adventure. I have known this for some time (since February), and as the magic date quickly approaches, and they complete more necessary steps to leave...I have realized what it means to me.
Jason and I have joked that we need to audition couples for the position of our NEW BFF's. There are big shoes to fill!
There are the obvious losses that I will have to adjust to: who am I going to have girl talk with? who will I go for pedicures with? with whom will I eat french fries for dinner? who will I spend a lazy day with?
Jason is great...but after the exfoliation and moisturization scandal of 2003, he isnt' that great.
Without C-Dazzle around...Who will come to visit me and not want to DO something? Who will know my story and care about me anyway? Who will drive to me, and never expect me to drive to them? Who will stand in line and get me lunch when I'm wobbly? Who will see me in all my situations, and not get scared away?
My relationship (and I should also say OUR relationship with C-Dazzle and Jay) has developed the most since I "went berry picking" (or got sick). One of the highlights of the past three years has been my relationship with C-Dazzle.
I haven't been able to lead a conventional life for three years - and C-Dazzle has been generous and un-conventional.
So without her, I have to ask myself...Will I be able to put myself out there for new friendships? Will I be myself? Will I muster the courage to leave my side of town, and not fear the wobbles or fatigue finding me while I am out? Will someone else understand what it means to have a friend who has MS?
Maybe I should have C-Dazzle write a letter of recommendation for me.