I haven't been to work in a long time

Every day is an emotional and physical question mark. That is just the way it is, and I'm okay with it. Who needs predictability!? **I say that somewhat sarcastically.**

While I still seem to struggle with the notion of a routine - to have or not have - I realized that one "routine" has been broken. For some time now, I don't feel as if I have to accomplish something (or not do something) within a specific amount of time "because I have to go to work tomorrow".

That's right - I have broken free of the haunting, "I'm going to work on Monday" feeling.

This isn't to be confused with wondering if I CAN work, or feelings of meeting self-imposed responsibilities...it is just the feeling of getting out of bed, and spending 8-10 hours at paid employment. It was like a habit...predictable...it became a part of who I was. And now it isn't.

I still haven't managed to comfortably answer the question, "do you have a job that you go to?", or "so what do you do?", or the simple, "where do you work?"

I met someone new a couple of weeks ago, and sure-shootin', she asked me, "So do you a job that you do on top of making jewelry?"

My answer..."No. I have MS".

I was mortified at myself! What a way to answer that question! Why couldn't I have said, "No, not right now"? Heck, even, "Nope" would have been better than what I did say. What a way to make someone uncomfortable...including myself.

So I am finally comfortable with the fact that I'm not going to work tomorrow, so hopefully next, I can find a way to be comfortable in telling people that.

Emily

2 comments:

corina said...
May 12, 2009 at 4:04 PM

well...you are a 'tell it like it is' type, a straight shooter, no beating around the bush...but i can see that the response 'no. i have ms' may be cause for social discomfort. but i don't think you should modify your behavior just to be make someone more comfortable (this coming from a 'don't make a scene' type ;p). people need to know about this disease and how it affects various people.

have you asked other people living with ms how they answer that question?

Ladyfingers said...
May 14, 2009 at 7:21 AM

Unfortunately I have ms & it prevents me from regular employment. (If I could find an employer who would take me on the odd day that I may feel well & let me go home when I don't it would be ideal)

Mom XO

Congrats on your sales. I hope my bag looks like that! Cute card, but I have first hand knowledge of those since I have purchased some!!

Little bits about my life with MS

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