I'm Scared For My Brain

My brain is often the butt of family jokes. I even make them myself. Generally, the jokes come about after I have done something strange or said something strange. Or better yet, when I do math in my head faster than anyone else in the room (pre-MS, math was NOT one of my strengths)
But sometimes I worry about it. I have noticed lately that I am processing written words incorrectly (and seeing words that aren't there). Last night, I saw the word "should" and I read it as "shold" (rhymes with cold) and I didn't understand it. I read it a couple of times before I realized my mistake. This is only one example of something that has happened to me a few times in the past week.

Tonight, while making dinner, I had another "moment". I got out a regular frying pan (not the one we usually use), chosen for size and flatness. Cooking something new, I had to read the instructions, which said to use a non-stick frying pan. "Perfect", I thought, I picked the right frying pan without even knowing.

Olive oil in, Chinese dumplings in, just add water and cover. So easy!

Until I had to turn the dumplings over. They were stuck to the pan - stuck. That's when it dawned on me: the instructions said to use a non-stick frying pan. Not a pan that doesn't have a non-stick coating (which I selected) but a pan WITH a non-stick coating. I processed it incorrectly and was confident enough in my processing that I mentally patted myself on the back when I did read the instructions because I was one-up, so to speak.

Early on in my diagnosis, I didn't trust myself when reading instructions, in particular recipes. Not that there had been an event to give me pause, I just wasn't confident.  I needed to read and re-read. Well now I have an event - and it scares me.


Nancy said...
January 16, 2012 at 10:45 p.m.

I read outloud now days and it helps, really helps process WHAT I am reading. I cannot be fast anymore even reading as I miss something and get it wrong. I find after being corrected so much .... I must focus more. My mind goes 100mph.
Don't be scared, just be aware and try to find how to process or handle it better. Maybe solution is the word.

Annie said...
January 17, 2012 at 8:18 a.m.

Em, I understand this being scary. But it may not be the MS.....I, too, find myself not thinking quite straight these days. Putting the peanut butter away...in the fridge. Grabbing sox to put on once I'm downstairs, and once downstairs, realizing I have underwear in my hand. Opening up my lunch bag and realizing that I have the alphaghetti, and one of my kids must have the Lean Cuisine. It could be age....maybe it's the weather....maybe it's all those bad drugs we did when we were young. Until someone else notices AND complains (the Lean Cuisine thawed, so Rebeccah just ate it cold without caring), I say we just laugh at ourselves.
Chin up! hugs coming your way....

ladyfingers said...
January 19, 2012 at 10:10 a.m.

Don't view this as an MS event Em.
I know it's easy to blame MS for any change in the norm. However, as Annie says, we all do these things. It happens to me several times a day. I can understand your worrying but this can worsen the problem. You have a great sense of humour, use it. Draw on that amazing inner strength you possess. It's been there since your diagnosis. I am in awe of you my favourite youngest child.

Little bits about my life with MS

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