Wow. I went a whole month without a post. I'm sorry.
I guess that I am settling in to my new reality. I could complain about the same old things: red marks, never receiving more than one month of Rebif at a time, brain fog, hating this disease...but I'm used to it all now.
So what do am I doing with myself?
It seems it wasn't that long ago that I was questioning my purpose. My life plan had changed.
Drastically.
In more ways than one.
So I re-focused my interests: I feed and grow new things in my life, nurturing what I can do. (while trying not to focus on what I can't do).
Learn. Evolve. Grow.
Emily
Learn. Evolve. Grow.
Posted in evolve, grow, learn, life purpose on Thursday, September 02, 2010 by EmmsResults, Prompting Questions
Posted in MRI, Rebif on Friday, July 23, 2010 by Emms
I'm sorry to have kept you in suspense for so long! I just realized that I haven't shared my MRI results with you. I have been celebrating since Monday afternoon...all by myself!
Let's skip the small talk and get down to business...
First of all, the Winnipeg Regional Health Authority has streamlined patient records. This means that when I have a procedure at a different hospital than normal, the new hospital can access the old records. This means two things to me: I can't get a new diagnosis very easily; and it is helpful to see if things have changed on my MRI's. I guess I will go with this being a positive development.
So...I still have MS...I didn't receive a "this isn't MS" report from the radiologist. Rather I received a "everything in my brain is just as it was 3 years ago, except that the lesion in my frontal lobe is smaller, and there is a new lesion in the pons", report.
That's okay. And if I understood this disease, or had a neuro that I could speak with, I'm sure that I would say it's great. In the moment of hearing the report, Jason and I were happy. My doctor is happy.
But I'm still worried. This means that the lesion assault on my brain is still there. Oodles of white marks, visible in a black and white photo of my brain. What are "they" doing? What have "they" been doing for the past 4 years? Are they just floating...waiting to all pounce and be reflected in my outward self all at the same time? Slowly nibbling away my myelin?
Well...it will be what it will be...right? The course can't be altered.
But I do think that I will stay on a DMD. I'm going to convince myself that it has been the Copaxone and the Rebif that have kept more of the fuzzy white spots away.
Emily
P.S. Jason, upon review of this post, has the answer to what the "white spots" have been doing... "They're pissing you off".
Let's skip the small talk and get down to business...
First of all, the Winnipeg Regional Health Authority has streamlined patient records. This means that when I have a procedure at a different hospital than normal, the new hospital can access the old records. This means two things to me: I can't get a new diagnosis very easily; and it is helpful to see if things have changed on my MRI's. I guess I will go with this being a positive development.
So...I still have MS...I didn't receive a "this isn't MS" report from the radiologist. Rather I received a "everything in my brain is just as it was 3 years ago, except that the lesion in my frontal lobe is smaller, and there is a new lesion in the pons", report.
That's okay. And if I understood this disease, or had a neuro that I could speak with, I'm sure that I would say it's great. In the moment of hearing the report, Jason and I were happy. My doctor is happy.
But I'm still worried. This means that the lesion assault on my brain is still there. Oodles of white marks, visible in a black and white photo of my brain. What are "they" doing? What have "they" been doing for the past 4 years? Are they just floating...waiting to all pounce and be reflected in my outward self all at the same time? Slowly nibbling away my myelin?
Well...it will be what it will be...right? The course can't be altered.
But I do think that I will stay on a DMD. I'm going to convince myself that it has been the Copaxone and the Rebif that have kept more of the fuzzy white spots away.
Emily
P.S. Jason, upon review of this post, has the answer to what the "white spots" have been doing... "They're pissing you off".
11:30 p.m. Musing Number 2
Posted in on Saturday, July 17, 2010 by Emms
A conversation between Jason and I...last night...library books closed, table lamps recently switched off.
Me: Are you awake?
Jason: Yeah.
Me: What did you say Pi is?
~in reference to a conversation we had earlier in the day
Jason: 3.142857
Me: Well then how many centimeters are in an inch?
Jason: 2.54
Me: Right. Got it.
Me: Are you awake?
Jason: Yeah.
Me: What did you say Pi is?
~in reference to a conversation we had earlier in the day
Jason: 3.142857
Me: Well then how many centimeters are in an inch?
Jason: 2.54
Me: Right. Got it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Little bits about my life with MS
